It is good to start the day with a chuckle from time to time.
A Sunday school teacher was telling her class the story
of the Good Samaritan. She asked the class, "If you saw a person
lying on the roadside, all wounded and bleeding, what would
you do?" A thoughtful little girl broke the hushed silence,
"I think I'd throw up."
DID NOAH FISH?
A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think
Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark ?" "No," replied
Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
A Sunday School teacher decided to have her young class
memorize one of the most quoted passages in the Bible - Psalm 23
She gave the youngsters a month to learn the chapter. Little Rick
was excited about the task - but he just couldn't remember the Psalm.
After much practice, he could barely get past the first
line. On the day that the kids were scheduled to
recite Psalm 23 in front of the congregation, Ricky was
so nervous. When it was his turn, he stepped up to the
microphone and said proudly, "The Lord is my Shepherd,
and that's all I need to know."
The preacher's 5 year-old daughter noticed that her
father always paused and bowed his head for a moment before
Starting his sermon. One day, she asked him why. "Well,
Honey," he began, proud that his daughter was so
observant of his messages. "I'm asking the Lord to help me preach a good
sermon." How come He doesn't answer it?" she asked.
A Rabbi said to a precocious six-year-old boy, "So your
mother says your prayers for you each night? That's very
commendable. What does she say?"
The little boy replied, "Thank God he's in bed!"
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she
would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal
(current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the
nightly prayer, Kelli would say, "And all girls." This soon
became part of her nightly routine, to include this
closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, "Kelli,
why do you always add the part about all girls?" Her response,
"Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying 'All Men'!"
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner
at his Grandmother's house. Everyone was seated around the
table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his
plate, he started eating right away. "Johnny! Please wait
until we say our prayer." said his mother. "I
don't need to," the boy replied. "Of course, you do"
his mother insisted. "We always say a prayer before
eating at our house." "That's at our house." Johnny
explained. "But this is Grandma's house and she knows how to cook.
Did you know that...
When you carry the Bible, Satan has a headache.
When you open it, he collapses.
When he sees you reading it, he faints.
Let's read the Bible every day
So he keeps on fainting.
Maybe one day he'll have a stroke and never wake up.
And did you also know that when you are about to forward
this email to others, the devil will discourage you
but forward it anyway.