Things Jamaicans would never do or let happen

        Mi deh yah ah tink and realize seh Jamaican people dem  reely

       different yuh nuh? Mi love dem ... still dere are some tings   yuh woulda

       neva see wi a do, hear seh wi ah seh or even attempt fi  try.

       Now Tek fi instance  ...

       Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb  mountain wid flag and claim victory

        when dem reach de top?

        Yuh eva see we ah hang out inna di miggle ah di  Amazon jungle?

       Fi wah  reason???

       you ever see we a jump outta  plane wid one parachute or a boast

       seh  we going bungee jumping next  Sunday?

       Yuh eva see we inna sea, bout  we looking fi di Great White Shark?

        No sah - wi watch it pon TV

        Yuh eva hear a J'can in ah Search & Rescue pan  mountain.  A mi

       sen dem up mountain? Dem find dem way up , dem fe find   dem way back

       again.

        Idiat dem! A nature way fe feed de weak and hungry animal  up deh!

       Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting  pon big screen going into a haunted

        house and asking ... Trevah you in deh?'  If him foolish  enuf fi go ina

        di haunted house him an di duppy dem can  tan in deh.

       Yuh eva hear a Jamaican  man seh ... 'no honey ... no need to cook

        rice and peas wid oxtail and a little  chicken pon a Sunday ... mek  wi

       eat  a light salad instead.' Try yuh best ...  not pon yu life.

       Yuh eva si a Jamaican  come a work an tell everybody dem bizniz

        .... how dem neva bade dis mawnin, jus  brush teet and wash  face.

       Yuh  eva si a Jamaican wey luv talk over people food ... put dem

        face inna it an sey  dat looks and smell good? No sah! Dat wi cause

        fight.

       Yuh eva  see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge and go tek weh

        next  person sangwige and nyam  it off?

       Yuh eva hear Jamaican pickney  tell dem madd a fi shut up and di

        Madda go tek seat inna kitchen, tek out  cigarette start smoke and seh

       she  nuh know wah fi do wid di pickney? No. One  rahtid bax crass him face

       fi sure.

An if dem live inna farign dem sen dem to  Jamaica fi di summer and

        den di odder relatives fix dem bizniz and dem go back wid  mannaz.

       Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat  outta fridge and stick it inna oven

       widout  lickle seasoning?

       Yuh eva hear  Jamaican inna di werk place ah talk bout how much

        time him wife mek him sleep  pon di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if

        she shut di door she expect  him fi kick it open.

       Mi neva hear a  Jamaican seh dem woulda rather put dem parents

        inna retirement home dan mek  dem live wid dem. Only those who migrated

        to foreign lands will do dem  tings.

       Yuh eva see Jamaican people a  cook and dem stir di pot, taste di

        food  and put di same spoon right back inna  di pot an nuh wash it

       off???

        Yuh eva si a Jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face?  Yuh mad?

       Yuh eva see yawd ppl  have dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem?

        Or dawg inna di couch and  when dawg get up dem go lay down innna di

        same couch inna di same  spat?

       Yuh eva see yawd people  kiss dem dawg pon di mout?

       Yuh  eva hear seh yawd people tek 5 days off from work because dem

        puss    dead?

       Yuh eva hear a Jamaican madda  innna a store a tell dem pickney

        'no  sweetheart, you  can't have that,  please put it back on the

        shelf'.

       Instead, yuh will hear someting  like dis ... 'lissen yah pickney,

       mi  nah walk a street an  pick up money,  put dung di blassted sweetie dem

       an  no  badda mi peace tiday, yuh hear  mi'?

       Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk  afta dem get pay pon F riday.

       All di  manager dem a play domino round a back, not to mention

        ludo and  draft.

        We a Jamaican ... ah suh wi d'weet. Wi nuh normal ..  wi well

       different  from all odda peoples ! A so di ting set. A so di ting  stay